WARNING, this might be a little woo woo, not quite my regular post, but I felt drawn to share.
I was doing some self discovery today which included using my oracle cards. Now I know that can sound a little woo woo, but I find I need that nudge sometimes and the oracle cards help me with that. I asked to be shown what I need to do right now. I can get so caught up in my to do list, which I have said before, I become overwhelmed with the pressure I put on myself to get SHIT done.
So back to the oracle card, I chose the oracle deck, Messages from the Mermaids and the card RELAXATION practically flew out of the deck. It made me think because I have been building my business on the idea that women need to take time out for themselves, relax and rejuvenate. Thing is, again, I don’t always walk my talk. One of the suggestions from the oracle card was to take time out to sit still and meditate. Again, not my strong suit, my mind can seem like a run away train. So to avoid that, I decided to listen to a guided meditation. This guided meditation took me on a journey where I was to visualize a town square, walk down a street and take some side roads. I will be the first to admit that I don’t always SEE during a visualization and I can beat myself up for this because in my mind, what artist can’t see images when she is visualizing, well me, at least most of the time. Thing is, during this visualization, I did see, I saw castles, I saw cobble stone streets, I saw beautiful streets lined with colorful buildings, I saw a house on a hill looking out over the ocean and beautiful cliffs along the shoreline.
As I was seeing all of this, I kept thinking to myself how familiar all these places seemed. I also questioned if I had ever actually seen them or was this just my imagination, not that either was wrong, just that so much of what I was visualizing felt like I had been there. When it came to the house on the hillside, I knew that one was one I had seen in person. It was almost 16 years ago when I took a solo trip to visit my penpal Marion, who I hadn’t seen in person for 18 years, we had only corresponded in cards and letters and at that point, the occasional email. Marion and I had talked often about how it would be so great if I could come to visit her in Wales. So when I mentioned it to Tom and he said I should go (you don’t have to tell me twice), I booked my flight. At that time, I was working 7 days a week and doing a lot with Mom who was in her 12th year with Parkinsons disease. I was burnt out and needing some relaxation and rejuvenation. So when I was given the chance to get away on my own and only have to think about me, I jumped at it.
So back to the visualization. After the meditation I felt like I had to go pull out my scrapbook from my trip. I was seriously blown away when I opened it, it had been years since I had looked through it. The castles, the road trips we took, the cobbled streets, the ocean, the buildings, so much of what was in that visualization, the memories that surfaced. I was taken back to a beautiful experience, a trip of a life time, a journey my soul really needed. As I write that, the tears are welling up, I always felt that I had taken that trip because I needed to be rested and ready for what I had no idea would lie ahead of me. Within months of coming back, Mom would pass away, only a few years later both of Tom’s parents would pass away. There were so many things we would eventually to go through and I believe that my soul had been so depleted and this trip seriously filled me up.
So again, if I haven’t lost you yet. I think I needed to be reminded about how important it was for me to take that time away for myself. I realize that not everyone can fly across the world to get away for a bit, but even for me, I feel like it’s pointing out that I need to look at how I am caring for myself at this time. What can I do for now and once we are able to move around more freely again, where would I want to go? Who would I like to spend some time with? Is it important to do it on my own or with someone else? Do I need girl time? I always wanted to do a trip with Miranda (my daughter). What does that getaway look like for me? How long is this trip, a week or a day trip? And in the mean time, while we are still being limited, how am I showing up for myself right now? What is possible now? These are very important questions.
I saw a really good write up the other day about how people are talking about their self care moments, saying that 5 minutes in the bathroom or going to the store without the kids is a self care moment. NOT. That is self preservation. We need to make ourselves more of a priority, that we get to take hours away from the demands of our everyday lives. Not to knock men, but they will take off fishing, hang out with the guys for drinks (probably not at this moment, but you know what I’m saying), but ladies, when was the last time you didn’t ask for permission to get out without your kids or your spouse. Maybe some of you have already done this, are getting better at it, but I know there are still many of you out there that don’t believe you can step away, ask for help, ask for someone to take the kids for a while so you can just do something you want to do without any interruptions.
Believe me, I’m no expert, I am still learning and I don’t even have small kids anymore, but I catch myself getting caught up in what I think I have to do to build my business and so I don’t make or take time to just be. It’s amazing how you can feel that your to do list is more important than some time for yourself.
So again, if I haven’t lost you, this is where my whole morning thought process went to just because I drew a card that told me I wasn’t relaxing enough and to go meditate. I actually listened to my intuition and went with it. Then I felt drawn to share. I do hope this gets you to thinking about your own self care and what it means to you to recharge and rejuvenate. We really do need to do everything to put an oxygen mask on ourselves first if we are ever going to be useful to others. We are not being selfish, we are being wise.
I’m shared a few of my pictures from that trip. I am proud of this country girl who got on a plane all alone, flew to Heathrow airport, got on a bus to Cardiff and spent 10 days with a penpal she hadn’t seen in 18 years. I took a train to Bath for the day on my own, I walked around Cardiff and took bus tours on my own on the days that Marion had to work. Then together Marion and I did some wonderful touring and exploring of the country. I felt like I was always meant to be there, I made the most of every minute and it was a life saver. The memories are precious and I hope I am a good example of getting out of your comfort zone. Just think what I would have missed out on if I hadn’t put my fears aside and gotten on that plane.
What will you do for yourself? What plans will you make? What can you do now? What can you dream of in the future? Things will get better again and we will be in need of much recharging, put yourself at the top of the list. I am already thinking of what I can do and I will keep you posted.
If you want to try something this summer, maybe you might consider checking out my Paint Paddle & Picnic daycation. It’s all about you. Make yourself a priority.